Hope, fresh out of the oven

Viña del Mar and Valpraríso probably have a grand total of thousands if not tens of thousands of businesses that sell empanadas. From bakeries to family owned general stores, they are everywhere. But who cares about what the exact tally of places that sell empanadas is. I just want to know one thing: where is the best place to get empanadas.

Well look no further.

Right next to the Chilean congress’s back entrance there is a place called El Festín. Since the congress is a big crazy looking horseshoe shaped building that dominates Valparaíso’s landscape, I think it’s safe to say that this place is pretty easy to find.

So maybe you’re thinking “What’s up with RealChile today? Did you forget that you always relate practically any topic imaginable to politics or economics or ethnology?Did you decide to go all tourist brochurey on me?” Well, fear not. The juicy part of this article is nigh. After all, this bakery is a great springboard for taking something simple and realizing just how much it and it’s surroundings are a perfect microcosm of Chilean society.

For starters, as much as they might hate me for doing it, I have to share the truth with my fellow citizens of my second home: a.k.a. Chileans. The truth is, Argentineans and Mexicans both feel that their culture is joined at the hip with empanadas. If that wasn’t enough to get Chilean’s blood boiling, you haven’t heard anything yet. The vast majority of Mexicans and Argentinean’s don’t have any idea that Chileans think that Empanadas are theirs. Here's wikipedia's take on the history of the empanada.

A lot of Chileans are probably starting to go through the steps that make up the psychological process that is acceptance. The first step is denial. Maybe my English-speaking Chilean friends are swearing and saying something like, “How could Argentinean’s claim empanadas for themselves?” Well, if it helps, I’ll let you know that the phenomenon of various countries simultaneously declaring that they invented something when nobody really knows who invented it is not unique to Chile, Argentina and Mexico. Americans frequently say “As American as apple pie” (here is an example of the expression in a news story) but you would be hard pressed to kind anyone in Chile who thinks of apple pie when they think of the US. In fact a lot of Chileans may have kind of a vague notion, suspicion or subtle sub-conscious belief that it is Chilean, German or some mixture of the two.

In Chile kuchen is a very common dessert which is frequently similar to apple pie although it can be stuffed with other flavors. According to Merriam Webster kuchen is the German word for pie. Oddly enough the Chilean equivalent of “As American as apple pie” is “más chileno que los porotos”. The literal translation of that phrase “More Chilean than beans” doesn’t really make any sense in English. That’s partially because, in Spanish, there are three different words for “beans” (frijoles, porotos and habichuelas). When you use each word mainly depends on which Spanish speaking country you are in. The only people I have ever heard using the word “porotos” are Chileans. In this case the phrase “más chileno que los porotos” refers to a specific dish called “porotos granados” which are sometimes called “porotos”. Porotos granados are grey beans cooked up with mashed squash and corn. There are a lot of different variations on this dish and on a personal note my girlfriend’s mom makes some really tasty porotos Granados, if you ever get a chance to eat some homemade porotos you should definitely take advantage of it. They are usually served with raw chopped tomatoes and onions on the side. These tomatoes and onions are called “ensalada chilena” the translation of “ensalada chilena” would be “Chilean Salad”. This is another good example of saying that something belongs to one county when the truth is no one knows. I wouldn’t be surprised if dozens of other countries also think that mixing tomatoes and onions and serving it as a side dish is their own invention.

(The empanada on the right is “pino” or “de pino” and the one on the left is “jamón y queso” or ham and cheese. “Las empanadas de pino” are cooked in an oven and stuffed with chopped beef, onions, some sliced hard-boiled egg and usually one olive. I don’t like olives but since they are always whole they are easy to pick out. “Las empanadas de Jamón y queso” are fried and obviously filled with ham and cheese.)

Chile is frequently used as an example of a successful free-market economy, to make a long story short the jury is still out on that one. Like any commonly-held belief this is partially true, partially false, and partially an due to an excess of over exaggerating. Maybe this belief is partly caused by the fact that, when the people who work in the Chilean congress walk outside they see one of the best examples in the Valparaíso area of a small successful business: El Festín.

Ok maybe I am painting things in a misleadingly sunny manner. There’s a good chance that many of the people who work in the Chilean congress believe the myth Chile is a Free-market Superstar, authored by international business conglomerates, for two reasons.

1.) Many of them have never been to a Chilean shantytown and or choose to ignore their existence, unless of course there is an election coming up. Many people are only able to work in the Congress because they have “pitutos” which is the Chilean equivalent for a buddy who can get you a job.

2.) Oh yeah I almost forgot. Big companies here tend to bribe senators and other elected officials that might have something to do with it.

At the end of the day if you look at El Festín and you kind of squint Chile almost looks like the image of Chile that fanatics of capitalism tend to promote.

It is kind of weird that a bakery that sells empanadas, at least from the consumer’s point of view, works better than any other organization I have seen in Chile. I am not being sarcastic or exaggerating. It’s the truth. The people who work there are nice, the empanadas are always warm, the empanadas cost 500 pesos (about one US-dollar) and the longest I have ever waited is one minute. For comparisons sake read my article on Post-traumatic waiting syndrome in Chile. Why is it, that when I look for an example of something in Chile that is well organized I am forced to use a small store that sells empanadas and not say… a supermarket a bank or a school? It probably has something to do with “pitutos” (people who get their friend’s jobs). Even though a lot of organizations in Chile are really disorganizations I believe that if a small empanada shop in Chile can organize itself than there is hope. Hope, fresh out of the oven.

Author’s note: I criticize the Chilean congress as an organization. However, the congress, the building, is a beautiful building and if you ever get a chance you should go inside.